Friday, October 26, 2007

Sibu Hash House Harriers

Run No. : 397
Date & Time : 20th October, 2007﹫1530 hrs.
Location : New Tua Pek Kong Temple, Oya Road, Sibu.
Hares : Forest Anne, Super Yii, Speedy Peter, Popeye
and Kenny (who else?)

1. Wow! 12 years Anniversary run today! As I write I cannot understand how Sibu H3 have come so far. Time flies. Some people know how we started but a lot of new members do not know at all. From a mere 15 to 20 people who called themselves Sibu hashers when we first started, today we have 80 to 100 people doing our weekly run. Great! Just like any big organizations troubles can creep in when the family becomes bigger. Sibu H3 is no exception. As we gather today to celebrate our achievements all these thoughts come to my mind. But let us forget about this for a while as we focus on our special run. This is not the time to be sad but to be happy. Hua Hee Toh Hor lah!

2. Indeed, we started today’s run in style. As the minutes trickled down, the crowd of about 150 members were getting restless. Amongst them were a handful of specially invited hashers from Belacan town and a big crowd from Tatau. Ah Sir, the trigger happy hashing cop from Tatau, pointed his pistol at Apai’s head and threatened to shoot him dead if he was not allowed to start off the run... so BANG he fired and ON ON towards Sibu town direction. The crowd rushed down the hot tarmac road but what are we running on today? Shit paper? Red angpow? Or what? Just follow the bullet, stupid! “We are running on bullet today.” declared Apai.

3. The Front Running Bastards (FRBs) turned right and started climbing the hills. That is the story of the day. Hills and more hills. When you go up you come down. And when you are down it means shiggy shiggy up to your waist. “What? You call this bukit?” asked Ah Tau of Tatau. “You’d better come join us in Tatau to see what is bukit!” Boleh tahan lah, this fellow… I thought all people in Tatau tak tau apa apa! He knows something also. GM of Tatau lah. So far so good except a bit quiet. Not much callings were heard. What happened to beautiful words like ON ON, Holes, Thorns, On Back, bees etc? This is all simple English lesson lah. So start calling everyone! Then out of nowhere Speedy Peter and Popeye appeared to split the men from the kids. “Short cut to the milk here and long cut to beer there.” They pointed to different trails. And callings stopped suddenly. So you do not know whether you are at the front, back or in the middle of nowhere.

4. I say bloody hell, what a stupid run? What happened to all the checks, loops and false trails? How come after 12 long years the hares still have not learnt anything from our hash bible? If this attitude is not changed the slow bastards can never catch up with the FRBs. And today’s run is A to B and all along narrow path, one way street, tidak boleh over take. Boring lah! So, suddenly our H3 run today becomes a marathon, a cross country run in the forests which is not supposed to be. A classical hash run is one that brings all of us home to the beer wagon altogether.

5. So after some 2 hours of sweat and blood slogging, the long runners finally come home to the warm welcome of the members and the refreshing beer. The short ones? Oh, they said they came home in one hour and 40 minutes! This is no short run men. At the beer wagon Forest John gave a welcoming speech and Apai conducted the hash circle. For the first time in a long long time members remained behind to savour the true spirit of hashing instead of disappearing. If you don’t stay behind you are going to miss all the fun around the beer wagon and all the information the committee wish to ditch out to you. Hashers from Bintulu led by Andy “Everyday” Hii were down down. They included Ah Leng, Ah Boon and Ah Hua. These were the guys who 12 years ago, together with some Sibu members like Thomas and V. Tiong, came down all the way from Bintulu to lay trails near Sibu airport or Sibu hospital for Sibuyans to run. Andy recalled fondly how he started hashing, how he enjoyed free orang puteh beer and all the hash ONs ONs. He gave a brief history of how Sibu hash started and how pleased he is to be a hasher today.

6. For the record, Bintulu H3 is now 29 years old and Andy specially invites Sibu H3 members to his 30th Anniversary run in Bintulu on 31st May, 2008! Then, GM Tatau and his Iban and Chiban gang plus a real Chinese Kapitan were down down. When Ah Tau was asked how Tatau H3 started, he said he only remembered going for a ngayap everynight in the longhouses in the jungles of Tatau. Sometimes he marked the trails to the longhouses for his friends like ‘See Kar Chua’ (monitor lizards of Tatau), Ah Han and the Kapitan to follow. That was how hash started in Tatau, he said. Tatau H3 is somehow very special in that they are the only chapter in the world that has Iban members. They must also be the only hash in the world to use Adidas Payah or Adidas Ulu. Apart from the very young Kapitan they even have senior government officers running with them, including their District Officer. Well done Tatau! Keep it up. Agi idup agi ngelaban. ON ON! Then, all the hares were iced for a bloody good run. And Ah Mei was the only female criminal iced today and given the toilet seat award for always appearing with the same old stupid t-shirt without any hash logo. Is she waiting for somebody her a hash t-shirt? A mortal sin indeed. Members are, therefore, warned never never to appear near a beer wagon without hash t-shirt.

7. What begins well ends well. Everyone seems happy especially the hares, Robert Kwando, Forest Nee and even the GM Forest John was grinning from ear to ear the whole night. It was not a night for karaoke or other messy abuses like showing off ones’ buttock because we were being constantly watched by his Lordship Tau Pek Kong and all the 12 fairies. We invited the no. 9 fairy The Drunkard (Lim Chiew Kui) to join us. But even with the help of the drinking fairy we couldn’t finish all the beer. We did not invite Monkey God because he says he doesn’t like Anchor beer. He prefers ChingTao beer! Special thanks to all the hardworking committee members who worked day and night to make this run a success. Ribuan terima kasih also goes to all the donors. You can find their names printed on the t-shirt you wear today because Sibu H3 run out of receipt book and so, printed their names on the t-shirts. The next run will be at Kemunyan, after Sibu Golf Club. See you there, ON ON!


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